one day, one poet poet, one, day

janet_liu

Hi all, suddenly, I have a special suggestion. Language learning is a process of accumulation and of course there will be no person who can know everything about a language. But unity is strength. So I have a suggestion we learn one poet every day. Anyone can paste the translation version both in English and Chinese here and we can make further discussions on it. The first poet who paste here will be the poet and discussion topic on that day. If you have any other good poet, you can paste it another day. Because it is not a easy job, I think one day one poet is enough. If anyone agrees with me, please give me a support.

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-4-21 11:56:05编辑过]

janet_liu

游子吟

慈 母 手 中 线，

游 子 身 上 衣。

临 行 密 密 缝，

意 恐 迟 迟 归。

谁 言 寸 草 心，

报 得 三 春 晖。

A thread is in my fond mother's hand moving.

For her son to wear the clothes ere leaving.

With her whole heart she's sewing and sewing.

For fear I'll e'er be roving and roving.

Who says the little soul of grass waving.

Could for the warmth repay the sun of spring.

This translation is from the internet, we can discuss whether it is a good version or not.

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-4-21 13:04:48编辑过]

janet_liu

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-21 13:02:00的发言：

游子吟

慈 母 手 中 线，

游 子 身 上 衣。

临 行 密 密 缝，

意 恐 迟 迟 归。

谁 言 寸 草 心，

报 得 三 春 晖。

A thread is in my fond mother's hand moving.

For her son to wear the clothes ere leaving.

With her whole heart she's sewing and sewing.

For fear I'll e'er be roving and roving.

Who says the little soul of grass waving.

Could for the warmth repay the sun of spring.

This translation is from the internet, we can discuss whether it is a good version or not.

Firstly, I think I should introduce some words here first so that all the readers can understand it more easily.

thread: 线 found:温柔的 ere:在...之前 sew:缝制，缝纫 rove:流浪 repay:报答

Secondly, the last word of every sentence rhymes. There are few words which are hard to understand. So I think start from this poet will be better.

janet_liu

How would you like the translation version of this poet?

ozimex999

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-21 11:56:00的发言：

Hi all, suddenly, I have a special suggestion. Language learning is a process of accumulation and of course there will be no person who can know everything about a language. But unity is strength. So I have a suggestion we learn one poet every day. Anyone can paste the translation version both in English and Chinese here and we can make further discussions on it. The first poet who paste here will be the poet and discussion topic on that day. If you have any other good poet, you can paste it another day. Because it is not a easy job, I think one day one poet is enough. If anyone agrees with me, please give me a support.

One day, one poet. I think it is too hard to be finished. If we can finish one week, one poem. I shall be very happy. In one day, there is not much we can talk about. May be we should use a Chinese title

詩詞欣賞

or

Relishing of Poetry

What do you think?

ozimex999

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-21 13:02:00的发言：

游子吟---孟郊

慈 母 手 中 线，

游 子 身 上 衣。

临 行 密 密 缝，

意 恐 迟 迟 归。

谁 言 寸 草 心，

报 得 三 春 晖。

A thread is in my fond mother's hand moving.

For her son to wear the clothes ere leaving.

With her whole heart she's sewing and sewing.

For fear I'll e'er be roving and roving.

Who says the little soul of grass waving.

Could for the warmth repay the sun of spring.

This translation is from the internet, we can discuss whether it is a good version or not.

I have another version of this poem

Meng Jiao

A TRAVELLER'S SONG

The thread in the hands of a fond-hearted mother
Makes clothes for the body of her wayward boy;
Carefully she sews and thoroughly she mends,
Dreading the delays that will keep him late from home.
But how much love has the inch-long grass
For three spring months of the light of the sun?

What do you think about this translantion?

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-4-22 17:05:07编辑过]

ozimex999

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-21 13:27:00的发言：

Firstly, I think I should introduce some words here first so that all the readers can understand it more easily.

thread: 线 found:温柔的 ere:在...之前 sew:缝制，缝纫 rove:流浪 repay:报答

Secondly, the last word of every sentence rhymes. There are few words which are hard to understand. So I think start from this poet will be better.

I think there is a misunderstanding about the word "poet". "Poet" is the person who writes verses. Poem is a composition in verse rather than in prose.

janet_liu

Thank you all for your support. I agree perhaps one week one poem is enough.

janet_liu

以下是引用ozimex999在2006-4-22 13:48:00的发言：

I have another version of this poem

Meng Jiao

A TRAVELLER'S SONG

The thread in the hands of a fond-hearted mother
Makes clothes for the body of her wayward boy;
Carefully she sews and thoroughly she mends,
Dreading the delays that will keep him late from home.
But how much love has the inch-long grass
For three spring months of the light of the sun?

What do you think about this translantion?

Yes, I think it's beautiful. Thank you for your support. I think this is a good place where I am sharing what I know, I am also learning what I don't know.

louise6678

i like the latter version.it's very well.

ozimex999

以下是引用louise6678在2006-4-24 13:04:00的发言：
i like the latter version.it's very well.

I found the last poem is too strong in Chinese meaning. If the reader is not Chinese, I do not think he will understand it.

ozimex999

I have tried to translate this poem in this way. I know, it does not sound very smooth, but I hope I can draw others valuable opinion. If possible, please correct it.

The thread is in beloved mother’s hands,

Sewing for her son to be wandered away.

In an adieu she makes, sewing and mends,

With worry on his homeward late.

Who would feel her dearest touch,

How to repay her three years’ love.

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-4-25 7:18:06编辑过]

janet_liu

Since I haven't got this level to translate beautifully about this poem, so I have no right to say which is good and which is bad. My opinion is if you can find some words in place of last word of each sentence and make it rhyme, I think it will be better.

ozimex999

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-25 12:13:00的发言：
Since I haven't got this level to translate beautifully about this poem, so I have no right to say which is good and which is bad. My opinion is if you can find some words in place of last word of each sentence and make it rhyme, I think it will be better.

This is only for fun. You do not have to be worried about it. Base on how you feel it. To be honest, I do not know my translation is right or wrong. If I do not try, I do not know how is my translation.

This is not for lituratural discussion, it is only for fun.

This poem was issue on the 17/12/05 by Ms Luchaobo

Now winter downs the dying of the year.

And night is all a settlement of snow;

From the soft street the rooms of houses show

A gathered light, a shapen atmosphere,

Like frozen-over lakes whose ice is thin

And still allows some stirring down within.

I've know the wind by water banks toshake

The late leaves down, which frozen where they fell

and held in ice as dancers in a spell

Fluttered all winter long into a lade;

Graved on the dark in gestures of descent,

They seemed their own most perfect monument.

There was perfection in the death of ferns

Which laid their fragile cheeks against the stone

a million years. Great mammoths overthrown

Composedly have made their long sojourns,

Like palaces of patience, in the gray

ozimex999

This poem was issued on 17th December 2005 by Ms Luchaobo

Now winter downs the dying of the year.

And night is all a settlement of snow;

From the soft street the rooms of houses show

A gathered light, a shapen atmosphere,

Like frozen-over lakes whose ice is thin

And still allows some stirring down within.

I've know the wind by water banks toshake

The late leaves down, which frozen where they fell

and held in ice as dancers in a spell

Fluttered all winter long into a lade;

Graved on the dark in gestures of descent,

They seemed their own most perfect monument.

There was perfection in the death of ferns

Which laid their fragile cheeks against the stone

a million years. Great mammoths overthrown

Composedly have made their long sojourns,

Like palaces of patience, in the gray

And changeless lands of ice. and at Pompeii

The

ozimex999

This was the translation she did.

如今冬日的降临带来了一年的尾声，

而夜晚市落雪的归处；

自温柔的街道，屋宇房舍透出

斂聚的灯火，融融的气氛

犹似薄冰覆盖的冻湖

底下却仍有些许碰触。

我已知晓，风于水岸边

吹落那早已僵结的冬叶

冬叶凝固于霜冻中，宛如被魔咒定身的舞者

颤抖着入湖，于整个漫长的冬天；

以沉落之势彰显于黑暗，

它们似是自身最完美的纪念碑。

羊齿蕨之死堪称尽善

它们脆弱的脸颊紧贴岩石

一百万年。巨大的猛犸轰然倒地

沉静自若地留居恒远，

犹如耐心之宫殿，于灰蒙

恒久的冰原之中，在庞贝古城

那小狗蜷作一团，不再爬起

janet_liu

Beautiful,a modern poem.

ozimex999

以下是引用janet_liu在2006-4-28 16:58:00的发言：

Beautiful,a modern poem.

Sure, it is a beautiful poem. What do you think about the translation? Do you want to have a trial?

flamingcome

in thesecond version, the wording is better than the first,and sounds more musically.but the major difference between the two is the "i" and "he", namely the mother pictured in the poem is the poet' mother or just a general mother concept for anyone? this is what we have to make clear.

just my personal opinion.